Night on the Town
by Pricat
Summary: Shrek goes to the pub and becomes friends with Fungus the Bogeyman and the Beast! The unlikely trio go on a guya night out.


Night on the Town

Ch 1

New Amigos

It was sunset at the swamp. Fiona watched as her husband was shaving. "What's going on that you're getting ready like that for?" she asked him curiously. "Umm… going for a few drinks with some friends." He told her. She then shot him a look. Whenever he got drunk, there was trouble and chaos. "Okay but don't have the cops bringing you home because you did something stupid." She told him. He understood as he put on some fresh clothes and walked out of the room. He watched as his three kids were playing.

"I'm out of here! I'll see you later, okay?" he told Fiona as he kissed her. "Okay just be careful." She said to him.

She watched as he walked off into the kingdom of Far, Far Away for a pub that served some decent pints. He walked into the nearest bar which was an Irish one called the Luck of the Irish. He heard somebody yelling in protest. He watched as hunters were throwing a pouch around. But what amazed him was the guy trying to get it back. He was like an ogre but had a red Mohawk and brown tunic. He had black trousers and boots on. "Hey give it back! I need that!" he told them. "Yeah right! What's in it?" they said to him. Shrek heard this and went over to them. "Hey what's going on here?" he said to them. The hunters then backed away from him. "Hey I'm not going to hurt ya. Just give this guy back his stuff and I might not tear you apart. What do you say?" he told them.

They then gave it back to him and ran off screaming like lunatics. "Thanks. H-How did you get them to…" he asked him. "It's no big deal. Once you're an ogre, you know a thing or two about messing around with pathetic low lifes like hunters. I'm Shrek by the way. I've never really saw another ogre here before except for my wife." He told him. "Cool. Actually I'm not an ogre, I'm a bogeyman. We're a whole different thing altogether. I'm Fungus by the way. Have you tried the Guinness yet? It's to die for!" he told him as they sat down at a table. "No not really. My wife has this thing with me drinking. Just one little sip and I get busted by the cops!" he said to him.

Fungus laughed at that. "Yeah I know the feeling. My wife's like that. But she's worth everything I have." He told him. "Yeah I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Fiona. Life just wouldn't be the same." He told him as he drank some Guinness. "This is good! It's better than the other bars in the kingdom." Shrek said to him. Fungus smiled at that. " Yeah I know. I come here a lot , you know to get away from the wife and kids for a while." Fungus explained.

He then saw a cop car and hid under the table. Shrek was confused. "Why did… you do that for?" he asked him curiously. "Let's just say the cops aren't big fans of my profession. They see it as breaking and entering but it's also because I get drunk and cause a riot. I… sort of have an ASBO." Fungus explained. "What is that?" he said to him. "It's an Anti- social Behavior Order but I'm ignoring it. Why should I get arrested just for doing my job and providing for my family? Answer me that buddy." He told him

"Yeah I hear ya. But what is it you bogey guys do that they hate?" Shrek said to him curiously. "Our job is to sort of frighten them by doing things that annoy them like putting slugs in their thermos mug full of coffee or messing with their clothes and other things." he told him. "Cool. I think we're going to be awesome amigos." he told him as they ordered more beer. "What does that word amigo mean?" Fungus asked him. "It means friend in Spanish. My other amigo Puss taught me some Spanish a while ago." he explained to him.

Suddenly they heard a loud roaring come from the front door as somebody stepped in. He looked like a large dog but was actually a beast. He was weariing a blue coat and black trousers. He then came over and picked Shrek up by the neck of his vest. "What're you doing with my friend Fungus huh?" he snarled angrily. Fungus shook his head. "Put him down Beast. He's okay. He's my friend too. He saved me from hunters." he said calmly. "Fine." he said as he dropped him onto the floor. Shrek then got to his feet and sat down again at the table. "What's up with him?" he whispered to Fungus. "It's okay. Beast didn't mean any harm. He just gets angry around people he thinks is going to hurt me. We're sort of best friends asnd go to the Beasts in Oppression support group together." he explained... …


End file.
